Tony's Choice
by Chapin CSI
Summary: Being Iron Man isn't as glamorous as he expected it to be, so Tony takes some drastic measures. Part 3: Rhodey's getting nervous; after 3 days, Tony still doesn't want to go back to the 21st century. Can a Pepper Potts look-a-like help?
1. Chapter 1

Tony's choice

This started as a Tony-Rhodey friendship piece, but part two has a Tony/Pepper moment, so I changed the pairing. Also, while I'm indifferent to the vs. D Cheadle debate, I wrote this with in mind.

* * *

Cnel. Rhodes burst into Tony Stark's basement.

"Hey, Tony, I've got a -" He stopped on his tracks.

Tony Stark, in his Iron Man suit, was sitting on a reclining chair, a glass in one hand and a bottle of Scotch in the other. He nodded at his visitor.

"Rhodey."

"Tony. What are you doing?"

"What do you think?" Tony shook the glass, making the ice cubes tinkle.

"Shouldn't you at least take off your suit while you do that?"

"I'm on Iron Man patrol, pal."

"But you're drinking, too."

"Your point?"

Rhodey didn't reply; he merely crossed his arms and gave Tony a stern look.

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Don't give me that. There," he said, motioning Rhodey in the bar's direction. "Have a drink."

"No, thank you; _I'm_ on duty, too."

Tony defiantly raised his glass but didn't drink from it. He hesitated, then put the glass down.

"You take the fun out of this," he muttered.

"I thought the drinking bouts were over, Tony."

"They were. They are," he said. "I'm just bored."

"Bored? How can you be bored? You're Iron Man! You've tons of things to do!"

"You'd think I would," Tony replied. "Do you know what my last mission consisted of?"

"No, Tony; I don't."

"Tell him, JARVIS."

"_Mr. Stark rescued a kitten, yesterday morning, Colonel;"_ JARVIS said earnestly. _"Fancy Paws had climbed to the farthest branch of a tree; firemen from several counties were called in, but after six hours they had to give up on their efforts to rescue him. It wasn't until a brave reporter called Mr. Stark that -"_

"You make it sound more thrilling than it was, JARVIS," Tony said, and he morosely poured himself more whiskey. "All I did was fly over there and grab that damned flea-bag. That cat was so freaked out by the whole experience it was practically having a seizure by the time I handed it over to the owner."

"_According to the WTC4 reporter, the owner was very grateful_," JARVIS countered.

"Oh, yeah," Tony said sourly, "That toothless little old lady kept trying to plant a wet one on me." He drained his drink.

"I still don't see what the problem is," Rhodey said.

Tony sighed. "My career as a superhero has reached a crisis, Rhodey; there are no big criminals willing to face-off with me anymore. At this rate, my next mission will be to direct the traffic next time there's a power failure."

"Well, Tony, you gotta be reasonable; you can't expect to face lethal robots or evil Mandarins every day."

"But I need work! My mind rebels at stagnation."

Rhodey snorted. "What, you're channeling Sherlock Holmes, or something?"

"Sherlock Holmes? What are you talking about?"

"Sherlock Holmes, Tony. The famous detective? The literary icon?"

"I know who he is," Tony replied testily, "I just don't know what he's got to do with -"

"He was the first to say his mind rebelled at stagnation," Rhodey explained. "He said it whenever he didn't have a case to work on. Only he didn't turn to drink; he turned to cocaine. Not that I'm giving you any ideas, here," Rhodey added quickly.

"Cocaine," Tony said, voice heavy with despise. "All that does is fry your brain cells. Now, this…" he added, looking fondly into his glass, "_This_ gives me a nice, warm feeling. Like I'm capable of doing great things if given a chance."

"You are capable of great things, Tony." Rhodey said. "That's why we need you to keep alert. In fact…"

Tony raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"… I came to ask you a favor."

"Really?" Tony put his feet down, "You've got a mission for me?"

"A very important mission. One that will require the two of us joining forces -"

"I thought you weren't interested in wearing the suit."

"Hey, I didn't say I wasn't interested; I said I didn't wanna leave my job in the army."

"Ah, yes. You'd rather have your crummy army pension than a top job at Stark Industries."

"I can still be your sidekick, Tony; I can still watch your back -"

"Ok, ok. So, tell me what this mission is all about."

"Well, as you know there was a massive bird invasion in Washington over the weekend -" he glared.

"Ah, yeah," Tony said, "Sorry I couldn't help," he added insincerely.

"That's what I can't understand," Rhodey said. "You had an opportunity to serve your country and flat out refused to do it."

"Iron Man doesn't pulverize birds, Rhodey. Not even for the White House. I can't risk having the folks at PETA revoke my membership, you know."

"I see."

"So? What do the birds have to do with the mission?"

"Those birds left every monument in town covered in crap, Tony."

"So?"

Rhodey merely stared back.

Tony narrowed his eyes.

"You want me -You want _Iron Man_ to do a clean-up?"

"I'd go along and help you."

"Let me get this straight: You expect _me_ to go to Washington and clean up the shit-covered monuments -"

"You wouldn't have to touch any of it! And I know you can do it; you've kept your roofs free of seagull crap for months now."

"Sorry, buddy; I'm not gonna go to Washington to -"

"_Sir,"_ JARVIS intervened_, "I'm getting a call from the police."_

"Especially when I'm about to go on a mission!" Tony practically jumped out of his seat. He was instantly sober. "Go ahead, JARVIS."

"_Sir, firemen in Montecito are claiming for your help. Another kitten, sir."_

"Ew."

Deflated, Tony fell back on his chair.

"_Sir, that chair is going to collapse if you continue to -" _

"Oh, shut up."

Rhodey tilted his head in expectation. "Well? What's it gonna be?"

Tony fidgeted.

"_Sir, there's an incoming message from Miss Potts."_

Tony brightened up. "Great. I count on Pepper to keep me busy. Maybe she's bringing me some contract we've got to go over -"

_"No, sir. From what I gather, she's bringing some Chinese take-out -"_

"Great."

"_- and the blu-ray edition of Sophie's Choice, her favorite movie."_

"Yikes."

"_You promised to see it, sir."_

Rhodey snorted.

"You promised to see a chick movie?"

"I thought I'd be on a mission by now! Shit."

"You have a mission, Tony," Rhodey said persuasively. "There's all that crap waiting for us."

Tony gulped.

"_Sir, the firemen in Montecito are waiting for your response."_

Tony sighed.

"Well?" Rhodey asked.

Tony rose from his seat.

"JARVIS? It's time for plan B."

_"But sir, I...uh, er…"_

"Plan B, JARVIS."

"What's plan B?" Rhodey frowned.

"Tell him, JARVIS."

_"It involves time-traveling, Cnel. Mr. Stark wants to travel back to the sixties. He believes there were better villains back then."_

"The pot was better, too," Tony said brightly. "I think," he added discreetly.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Rhodey exploded, "Who's gonna manage your enterprises?"

"Oh, I'm not planning on staying there. I just want to recharge my batteries, so to speak. A couple of days in San Francisco... the Summer of Love..." he patted his pockets. "I've got my fake ID, I've got my wallet -"

Rhodey eyed him suspiciously.

"Wait a minute. You're not time-traveling because of the villains! You just want to have a weekend of debauchery!"

"Anonymous debauchery," Tony pointed out. "Do you know how hard it's for me to have one, now that I'm Iron Man?"

_"The platform is ready, sir."_

Tony started toward it, then glanced over his shoulder. "Care to come?"

Rhodey looked up with interest. "You'd take me along?" he asked, then, before Tony replied. "Nah, I can't. No way."

"Oh. Suit yourself," Tony said carelessly. "I could have dropped you at a James Brown concert, but -oh, well."

Rhodey's eyes widened.

"James Brown?"

"Yep. Of course, you can stay and watch Sophie's Choice, if you want."

"Hum..."

"Or you can go clean up Washington on your own."

Rhodey paused for a couple of seconds.

"Ok, I'll come along. But drop me at a Tina Turner concert, will ya?"

* * *

THE END


	2. Chapter 2

Tony's choice

part two

Pepper doesn't really appear here, but she's essential to the story. Actually, I only wrote this to explain why Tony wouldn't watch a movie with her.

* * *

Cnel. James Rhodes, currently AWOL from the US army of the year 2008, sauntered into The Groovy Cave, a popular bar in 1967 San Francisco where his senses were immediately assaulted by a mix of scents (pot, patchouli and stale sweat); a Bobby Sherman song playing in the jukebox, (not his kind of stuff, to put it mildly), and worse of all: a sight that had him shaking his head in disapproval: dozens of boys and girls madly swaying in synch to some song that was playing only in their stoned-out minds.

He looked away, and his interest was immediately picked by a couple of girls standing by the door. One of them, a Rhianna look-a-like noticed him too, and she in turn nudged her friend. Both girls checked him out briefly, saw something they apparently didn't approve of, then looked away. Having encountered that reaction before, Rhodey self-consciously checked himself on a nearby mirror: He didn't look that bad, did he? Sure, the afro wig was probably too high, but the platform shoes were not. As for the flowered jeans, well, they were a tight fit -

Then he realized what was wrong: Underneath it all, he still looked like a military man. No wonder the flower girls didn't want anything to do with him.

_Ah, what the hell,_ he thought. He was leaving that night, anyway. At least, that's what Tony had said when they parted two days before.

And speaking of Tony...

... There he was, sitting at the bar, hunched over a glass of red wine, and looking every bit like a man of his time in purple bell-bottoms, sandals, a tight polyester shirt open at the chest.

Rhodey smiled to himself.

"Hey, Tony."

Tony raised his gaze. He did a double take on Rhodey's enormous afro, opened his mouth to make a comment, thought better of it, then merely mumbled, "Hey," before turning his attention back to the wine.

Rhodey ordered a beer, then changed his mind and ordered a Coke. One of them would have to stay sober if they were going to make it back to the future, and it didn't look like it was going to be Tony.

He took a seat and looked appraisingly at his friend. Tony had really gone overboard in his desire to fit in with the time. Not only was he wearing Polyester, he was also wearing a peace sign medallion in gold.

"Nice saucer you've got there, Tony."

"Huh?"

"The medallion," Rhodey said, pointing at it. "What, you couldn't find a bigger one?"

"It was the only way I could keep the arc covered."

"Oh. Right." He took a swig of his Coke. "So," he said, "Why the long face?"

"What?"

"Why are you sitting here, looking into your glass when you could be looking at that?" and he pointed at the go-going girls on the dance floor.

Tony dutifully looked over his shoulder and, as if on cue, a girl on a short, flowered dress waved at him.

"Hey!" Tony forced a smile, then turned back.

"Who's that?"

"That's Lila or Layla, or somethin'."

"Seems nice."

"She is. They all are," Tony added, "They're just..."

"What?"

Tony sighed. "Rhodey, take a look at those boys and girls," he said, pointing at them with his thumb. "They think old age starts at twenty-nine. Meanwhile, _I'm_ forty; to them, I'm practically senile!"

"Oh, come on, that's -" Rhodey suddenly paused. "Forty? I thought you turned forty two years ago -"

"Oh, shut up."

"And that's not all," Tony said. He lowered his voice. "Can you believe these girls won't let you wear a condom?"

"Really?"

"Yes, really. They absolutely refuse; they go from guy to guy, and they just -"

"Well, it _is_ the Summer of love, after all, pal."

"Hey, I'm all for it but, damn, I don't wanna end up having an Autumn of Clap!"

"Well. I'm sorry you didn't get laid, Tony."

"I didn't say I didn't get laid."

"Oh, man, you're disgusting!"

"Hey, I wasn't gonna waste my trip," Tony said defensively. "Besides, I did wear a condom. It took a while, but I finally convinced them."

"You know, I kind of see why they don't like condoms," Rhodey said thoughtfully. "Those rubber things they use right now are really primitive."

"Yeah. Fortunately, I brought my own. Flavored _and_ textured," Tony said smugly.

"Oh. So, you and LilaorLayla...?"

"… and a couple of her friends," Tony added casually.

"See? Even flower girls have geriatric fetishes. I hope they didn't give you a rough time, old man."

Tony gave him a disdainful look. "For your information, I did extremely well."

"Really? And how did you attract them, in the first place? No, let me guess: You got them lots of presents."

"Nah."

"A pile of cash?"

"No -"

"Spanish Fly?"

"Rhodey!"

"So, what did you do?"

"I took a shower."

"A shower?"

"Rhodey, guys nowadays just don't practice hygiene; they stink –and _I_ don't. The girls were impressed."

"Wow."

"Plus, I told them I was an Aquarius -that got them going in no time."

"But you don't believe in that shit!"

"I do now." Tony drained his glass and raised it to get the bartender's attention. "So, what did you do these two days? Did you catch Tina?"

"Yeah. She was awesome, Tony. What she did with that pelvis… Oooh, boy." He took a sip of his coke. "I dropped by my grandma's house, by the way."

"You didn't talk to her, did you?"

"No, no, no, no," Rhodey said. "I remembered what you said about not interfering with the past. But I got a look at her. Ah, she was a beautiful woman, all right. What about you? Did you drop by Stark Industries?"

"Nah. The less I know of my old man's scheming past, the better I'll be. But I did get to see Janis."

"_Joplin__?_ Really?"

"Yeah." Tony sighed, a far-away look in his eyes, "There she was, just a couple of steps away from me; she had feathers in her hair, a bottle of tequila in one hand, a joint in the other… God, I so wanted to go up to her and tell her to take better care of herself or she would die in three years time..."

Rhodey looked up cautiously. "But you didn't, right?"

"I almost did," Tony said sourly, "But then she took a look at me and called me gramps!"

"Uh, oh." Rhodey held back a smirk.

Lila (or Layla) approached them just then. She went straight to Tony.

"Hello, angel," she said, "I'm leaving right now, but…I could come back later, if you want -"

Tony sighed. "I won't be here, sweetheart."

"Oh, yeah," she pouted. "You're leaving tonight."

"Wanna give me a goodbye-smooch?"

"Gladly," she said, and she dove right in for a kiss.

Rhodey eyed them for a couple of seconds, then discreetly looked away. He waited a moment, then looked back, only to see them still going at it.

He waited another moment, then rolled his eyes.

"Gee, Tony, I think Lilaorlayla needs her tongue back."

Tony paused only to mutter, "Shut up, Rhodey," then turned back to the girl.

Moments later, the two finally pulled back.

"That was really groovy," she said dreamily.

Tony smiled. "Say goodbye to Ginger for me, will ya?"

She pouted again. "I won't share my kiss with her."

"Then give her this one," he said breathlessly and pulled her back into his arms again.

"Oh, come on!" Rhodey protested. He couldn't believe it; Tony was really all over this girl. It was disgusting –mostly because Rhodey didn't have a girl to himself.

Finally, LilaorLayla pulled away.

"Will I see you again, Tony-angel?"

"No, honey," he said sadly. "But I'll be seeing you. From a different dimension," he added mysteriously.

"Oh, wow," she whispered, completely impressed.

That little exchange got Rhodey's attention back; there was something familiar about LilorLayla, and he set out to find out what it was. He checked her from head to toe and...

"Uh, Lila -"

"It's Layla," she said petulantly.

"Tell me, does your friend Ginger have freckles and long, reddish hair?"

"Yeah."

"Like you, right?"

"Sure. How did you know?"

Rhodey shrugged modestly, "I saw her with my inner eye."

"Oh, wow."

Once she was gone, Rhodey turned to Tony.

"You crazy son of a bitch."

"What?"

"D'you know who Layla reminds me of?"

"Who?"

"Pepper."

"Pepper?"

"Yeah. The eyes, the hair, the freckles... The long legs… Tell me you didn't travel in time just to find a girl who'd look like her!"

Tony scoffed. "Boy, you've got a devious mind."

"Ok, ok, ok," Rhodey said. "So, you accidentally found her –I'll buy that. But you gotta admit she looks like Pepper."

Tony glared at him.

"Ok, fine," Rhodey shrugged, "It's none of my business." But he couldn't stay silent for long. "You know, I don't get it. Pepper gave you a chance to see a movie with her; instead, you made this trip. Why? I would have thought you'd jump at the chance to have her all to yourself in your private movie theater!"

Tony shook his head.

"Nah, I couldn't do it. I mean, you know me. I'd never be able to sit through a whole movie without, you know, trying somethin'. I'd put my arm around her shoulders, I'd try to kiss her… And she'd be pissed off at me."

"You sure?"

"Oh, yeah. She doesn't want any of that."

"Well, why don't you try and keep your hands to yourself? _That_ would impress her. She'd realize you're not the jerk she thinks you are."

"Yeah, I could try that, but deep down, I'd still be a jerk."

"And you enjoy being a jerk," Rhodey said knowingly.

"Nah, I don't -" Tony started to deny, then gave up. "Ok, maybe I do."

* * *

The end


	3. Chapter 3

Tony's Choice

Part three

I've been having a hard time finishing A long way back home, so I decided to work on some of my other ideas. First, "A hero's revenge", and now this.

* * *

Tony Stark drained his glass and then raised it and held it against the light.

Col. Rhodes looked up in alarm. "You're not gonna order another drink, are you?"

"Me? No. I said I'd order one, and that's what I did."

The fact that this was his fifth glass didn't count, apparently.

"Damn it, Tony; you promised -"

"And I kept my word." Tony eyed the glass critically, then called out, "Hey, Joe! Does this look empty to you?"

Which was yet another way of ordering a drink without actually saying the words.

He'd been doing that all night.

To Rhodey's frustration, Joe the hippie bartender brought another glass. Whatever he'd put inside was green and frothy and probably poisonous, and, to judge by Tony's reaction, it tasted just as bad.

"Jesus, why do you keep drinking that stuff?"

"What else am I supposed to do with it?" Tony asked reasonably. He glanced at the glass on Rhodey's side. "You still haven't finished that?"

"I didn't come here to drink! We shouldn't even be here, Tony! We should be back home and -" He lowered his voice, "Back in our own time!"

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Why do you whisper? You can say anything out loud here." And to prove it, he waved at Joe. "HEY, JOE? DID I EVER TELL YOU THAT I CAN FLY?"

Joe put down his joint before he replied, "Yeah, man. Me, too, man. Peace."

Rhodey closed his eyes for a moment. Once he'd calmed down, he tried again.

"Tony. You said we'd stay three days and then we'd go back -"

"And you believed that," Tony said with a chuckle. "Tsk, tsk, Col. Rhodes; you still don't know me very well, do you."

"Tony, I swear -"

"Oh, relax. We're gonna go back. Eventually."

Rhodey bowed his head in frustration.

"I'm screwed," he said. He banged his head on the counter. BAM! "That's it." BAM, BAM. "I'm gonna get court-martialed -"

"Most probably," Tony said placidly. He paused, then chuckled when he saw the look on Rhodes' face. "Aw, come on; I'm joking, you know that. You're not gonna get court-martialed. You're a big shot in the army now; the big cheese. You're the big… Kahuna?"

"Oh, shut up. My career's in shambles and you're just -"

A feminine voice cut in then.

"Well! Isn't this nice. I'm worried out of my mind, thinking the worst has happened, and it turns out you're partying."

Both men turned at the same time. Rhodey's eyes opened wide. If he didn't know better, he would have sworn the girl standing there was Pepper Potts. She sounded like Pepper and kind of looked like Pepper, except that Pepper Potts would never wear a flowing dress that reached her ankles, or a floppy hat, or a crocheted vest. The girl was just another hippie, one of the many that Tony had 'befriended' these past days.

Tony's reaction was warmer.

"You're here! Oh, thank God!" He half-rose, only to lose his balance. Rhodey rushed to help but the woman was faster. She caught him and hoisted him back on the stool.

"Oops!" Tony said cheerfully. "Almost fell there." He looked into her eyes. "Thank you, Pepper," he said huskily; "I can always count on you. And lean on you," he added, and he shamelessly did just that.

Rhodey rolled his eyes. Could this guy be any more transparent? He'd only pretended to fall so he could get his hands on Pepper Potts –for it was her, all right. Rhodey recognized her the minute she helped Tony, her face showing equal parts of affection and annoyance –the usual.

"Well, I'll be damned," Rhodey said. "How did you get here?"

"JARVIS sent me. He was getting nervous; said you guys were supposed to be back at eight this morning!"

"We were. But Mr. Nostalgic here wanted to try more of the local, hum, flavors."

Mr. Nostalgic didn't bother to deny the accusation. Instead, he made himself more comfortable in Pepper's arms, and after a few tentative tries found a perfect place to rest his head: Her shoulder.

"I still can't believe you're here," Rhodey said, "How did you manage it?"

Pepper shifted a little under Tony's weight before replying.

"I wore a suit," she said, eyeing the macramé bag resting by her feet.

"Really? Which one?"

"My own," she said ruefully; "Tony built it for me a long time ago but I refused to wear it -till now. JARVIS said you had to either come back tonight or wait a whole week for a safe return."

"That's what I've been telling him." Rhodey glared at Tony's back, then did a double take. There was something funny in the way Tony and Pepper were holding each other. For one thing, he was not touching her. His first impression -that Tony was only trying to cope a feel- was all wrong; he was leaning on her, sure; and yes, he'd furtively rubbed his cheek on hers a couple of times, but he'd scrupulously kept his hands hanging by his sides all along. And Pepper was just as careful not to lay a finger on him; she was using her forearms to hold him.

How weird was that?

Tony didn't seem to mind. He was smiling contentedly.

"I missed you," he said.

Pepper gave him a sideways look, (maybe, Rhodey thought, to make sure it was Tony Stark speaking, and not a look-alike).

She stared back ahead.

"Thank you," she said briskly.

"I love you."

She only sighed at this.

"I mean it," he added.

"I know," she said patiently.

"I'm crazy 'bout you. I'm sorry I never say it."

"You say it all the time."

"Do I?"

"Yes, Tony," she said, and by now she was visibly struggling to keep him upright. Finally, she gave Rhodey a pleading look.

Rhodey promptly intervened. He put his hand on Tony's shoulder.

"Come on, Tony," he said firmly. "We've got to go."

"Sure," Tony said, very cooperative all of a sudden. "That's what I was saying; we've got to go. Oh, wait," he added. He took a handful of dollars from a pocket and twisting around, managed to drop them on the bar. "Hey, Joe?" he called out. "Thanks for everything, man. PEACE! Great man, Joe," he added, as Pepper and Rhodey helped him off his seat. "Hey, Potts; when we get back, I want you to find out all you can about my bro, Joe Barney. Joseph William Barney," he said, carefully enunciating the name. "I wanna know what happened to him." He frowned. "Or what _will_ happen to him…? Damn! I keep mixing my tenses -"

"You keep mixing your liquors, too," Rhodey muttered.

Once outside the bar, Pepper looked around.

"Should we take a taxi?"

"That won't be necessary," Rhodey said. "My car's right there."

Pepper noticed a red convertible on the other side of the street and started in its direction, while Rhodey went the other way. Tony, with both arms wrapped around their necks, found himself pulled in opposite directions.

"Cool! We're playing tug-of-war!"

"Here's my car, Pepper," Rhodey said, motioning them to a lime-green VW bug. "Isn't she a beaut?"

"Nice color," Pepper said snidely.

"You're one to talk," he retorted, pointedly looking at her tie-dyed clothes. "You really went overboard."

"Hey, this was the best I could get on short notice," she said defensively; "I didn't even know I'd have to change clothes!"

"So, why did you?"

"I was getting too much attention. A woman in a black suit, in a hippie neighborhood? And carrying a briefcase? That's why I got that macramé bag."

"Hey, what color is your suit?"

Pepper didn't immediately reply.

"Pink."

"Pink?" Rhodey said incredulously. "You let him build you a _pink_ suit?"

"I didn't even want a suit! I kept telling him, but he wouldn't listen!"

"Yeah, he never does."

"He just went right ahead -"

"- like a stubborn son of a bitch."

"Hey," Tony said testily; "_He_ is listening, you know. I'm drunk, not deaf!"

"Sorry," Pepper said.

Rhodey put Pepper's briefcase in the trunk, between his and Tony's. Then he took care of Tony. He opened a door and motioned him inside.

"Hop in."

"Ok." Tony gingerly got in. He settled in the corner, then leant over and tugged at one of Pepper's flowing sleeves. "Come sit with me."

She gently pulled her arm away. "Not tonight, Tony."

"Oh, come on. I don't bite." He smiled charmingly at her. "Hard."

She smiled despite herself. But she was firm.

"You'll be more comfortable if you lie down, Tony. Try to get some sleep."

"I'm not tired," he protested.

But he was asleep by the time they reached the outskirts of town.

Neither Pepper nor Rhodey spoke till then. In Rhodey's case, it took him that long to get the courage to say what he was going to say.

He glanced at Pepper.

"What Tony said…It's true, you know. He loves you."

"I know."

"You do?"

"He tells me all the time. No, wait; not all the time. He tells me only when he's drunk."

"Oh." _Damn_. "Well. It doesn't make it any less true, you know. Maybe he'd tell you while sober, if you hadn't shot him down the last time he tried to -" He didn't finish. He wasn't supposed to know about that, except that Tony had told him... While he was drunk.

"You gotta understand, Pepper. A guy doesn't like making a fool of himself twice." He glanced at her. "It would help if you gave him a sign, or something. Be honest: D'you even like the guy?"

Pepper flushed. She pressed her lips together as if to keep herself from saying something she might regret.

She took a deep breath. "I blew the reactor," she said. "I went inside that building twice in one night, even though it gave me the creeps. He asked me, and so I did it."

"I know -"

"He could have died –_I_ could have died, but you know what? I'd do it again. I'd do anything for him. And it's not because of the money, Rhodey –though God knows I earn it. If I were in it for the money, I would have left a long time ago; I've got job offers from all over the world -"

"Really? You've got offers?"

"Just last week I got a call from Bruce Wayne."

"Bruce Wayne, the billionaire?" Rhodes said, impressed.

A noise came from the backseat; a derisive snort -or something close to it. Pepper looked back suspiciously, but Tony seemed to be asleep. He turned on his back and openly snored.

Reassured, Pepper turned her attention back to the road.

"I could be working in Gotham right now," she said. "Instead, I stayed in Malibu. For the last three days I fielded calls from the police and the government, not to mention a dozen manufacturers who want to update Tony's products –everything from toys and colognes to shoes and those wife beaters he's so enamored of!

"I traveled back in time with no guarantee that I might make it here or back; I put on that damn pink suit even though I swore I'd never wear it, but hey, what's one more broken vow when my boss' life is on the line, right?"

She took a deep breath. "And now, you've got the gall to ask me if I love him?"

"I know you do," Rhodey said gently; "I just wanted you to say it."

"I didn't say it!"

"You admitted it, Pepper. You love the guy," he said gleefully; "You wanna jump his bones and have his kids -"

"That's enough!" she said indignantly. "You're acting like a teenager girl!"

"I was just repeating what my niece was telling her friend the other day. So, you love him. What are you gonna do about it?"

"Nothing."

"Wait, what?"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Jesus, Pepper. What century are you living in? You can ask him out –no, that would be too subtle. Why don't you just tell him? Just pull him aside and let him have it. Or bring a movie he likes for a change," he said with a glare. "I mean, 'Sophie's Choice', Pepper? Is that what you call a hot date?"

"It wasn't meant to be a date! I just wanted to…I don't know; share something meaningful with him."

"Pepper, what you and Tony have shared these past months is meaningful enough. What you're doing is putting yourself in no-win situations!"

"Yeah, well. Maybe I don't want to win."

"Why?"

She didn't immediately reply.

"Because it's too big a risk," she said at last. "What if it doesn't work out? What if we end up losing everything?"

Rhodey stared at her in disbelief.

"Jesus, Pepper. You two need to talk."

She scoffed.

"We talk all the time."

"You know what I mean. You gotta be alone. Like on a deserted island. No interruptions; no Iron Man stuff, no Stark Industries business to get in the way."

Pepper sighed and shook her head.

"I'm serious," he insisted. "And you know what? I'm gonna make it happen. One of these days I'm gonna grab the two of you and put you on a plane and drop you somewhere."

Pepper pointedly looked out the side window.

"We're almost there," she said suddenly.

Rhodey glanced outside. He saw the familiar landmarks along the road.

"Yeah," he said. "It was around here that JARVIS dropped us."

Rhodey parked the car in a secluded area. He took the keys from the ignition and held them in his hand for a moment.

"I'm gonna leave them on the seat," he said, almost to himself. "I just hope someone finds her soon. I don't want this baby to end up rusty and alone on the side of the road." He was still looking at the keys, when a sudden idea occurred to him. He looked up. Pepper was about to open the door... "Wait!"

"What?"

"Here," he said, handing her the keys.

She instinctively took them.

"What do you want me to do with them?"

"Listen to me, Pepper," he said eagerly. "This is as close as you'll ever get to a deserted island. Take the car. The papers are in the glove compartment. There's another key there, that's from a motel room. I paid for the whole week, so -"

"Rhodey, I… I can't -"

"Sure, you can!" He reached and closed her fingers around the key. "You need to do this. You got to, Pepper; otherwise, you'll never know. Just think about it." He looked into her eyes. "What if it does work out?" He released her hand. "And don't worry about the company or the government; they'll survive."

"Rhodey -"

"There's some money in the glove compartment," he said, ignoring her. "And some condoms too."

"I've got my own," Tony said.

Stunned, Pepper and Rhodey turned around at the same time.

Tony was sitting up –no big surprise there. It was the fact that he didn't sound or look drunk that was surprising.

"I thought you were asleep!" she said.

"I thought you were drunk!" Rhodey said.

"It wasn't real booze, Sherlock. It was herbal tea." He turned his gaze back to Pepper. "I wanted to be sober in case you came."

"You knew I'd come?"

"I was hoping you would," he said quietly. "I thought maybe we'd have a chance to talk and… clear the air, so to speak." He smiled faintly. "I knew, Pepper. I just needed to be sure."

Her eyes bulged as she realized he'd listened to everything she'd said. It was more than she could handle. She abruptly turned away.

"Don't be mad." Tony reached out and, after a brief hesitation, laid a hand on her shoulder. "I love you. I don't know if that's enough to make this work, but I want to give it a try." He tightened his hold on her. "What do you say, Potts? Wanna stay a couple of days in hippie America?"

Rhodey had discreetly turned away the minute Tony started talking, but now he couldn't help sneaking a look at her.

Pepper was staring ahead; her lips were parted, but no sound came from them.

_Say yes, Pepper__, _Rhodey thought_; say yes, damn it!" _Unfortunately, his one-hour visit with a local guru had not improved his telepathic abilities.

Pepper reached for the door.

"Tony," she said, her voice tremulous with emotion. "We need to get out of the car."

Rhodey rolled his eyes. _Oh, girl. You disappoint me._

No matter. Now that he knew how things stood between those two, he'd see to it that they got together. He already knew what to do: He'd enlist his Special Op buddies –they owed him big time, and arranging a kidnapping for him would be a piece of cake. They'd drop these two somewhere over the Pacific –yeah.

He made a mental list of necessities as he got out of the car. They'd need a tent and lots of water; some survival gear. A gourmet basket would be a nice touch, too. Some wine –he'd steal a couple of bottles from Tony . He'd take some condoms while he was there, too. They'd need clothes too, of course. He'd get something in pink for Pepper, he thought evilly. Or maybe yellow, since she was such a frigging coward…

He walked to the back of the car and took Pepper's briefcase out of the trunk. He was going to pick Tony's, when he remembered the man wasn't drunk after all. He could pick his own damn briefcase.

He looked up.

"Hey, Tony, come get your -"

The word died in his throat.

Tony wouldn't have listened, and neither would she. They'd probably forgotten all about him by now. They were standing very close, and they were looking intensely at each other...

And they were touching. At last.

Pepper, especially, seemed to be having a blast, her hands moving all over Tony's face. And Tony... Well, Tony was doing his own recognizance of her. He wasn't being very subtle, either; hell, he was already undoing the numerous buttons on the back of her dress. He was looking hungrily at her mouth, as if his own life depended on a kiss from her. Yeah, he was dying to kiss her, but for some reason he wouldn't take the first step. He wanted some sign from her, perhaps.

Rhodey looked away. He mechanically put Pepper's briefcase back on the trunk and took his instead. He was forcing himself not to look –these were his friends, after all; surely they expected a little privacy- but come on, who wouldn't take a peek if given a chance?

He looked.

They were kissing –finally. Actually, face-eating would be a more appropriate term. And they were pulling at each other as if they could not get close enough.

_So this is what years of pent-up passion do to you_. Pepper looked like she was coming just from the touch of his body on hers.

Reluctantly, Rhodey picked his briefcase and started walking to a clearing. He set it on the ground, opened it, then stood still while the armor built up on him.

Meanwhile, a door opened and then closed.

Rhodey was sure the next sounds would be of a car driving away, but the sounds that reached him were quite different.

Incredulously, Rhodey turned to look.

The little car was shaking and swaying.

"Oh, for crying out loud, Tony! You could've at least waited till you got to the motel! That's so not classy!"

Suddenly he heard it. A wail. No, not a wail. A moan. Moans. Pepper, moaning in pain -or was it? It was hard to tell.

"Damn, Tony; what the hell?'

He would have intervened if Pepper hadn't spoken then. "Oooh, Tony… Oh, it's so… so GOOD -"

Rhodey was gaping by now. Who would have thought a prim little white chick could sound like that? It was a huge turn-on. For a couple of seconds, he toyed with the idea of using his War Machine Special visor to get a glimpse of them –

But no. He would NOT do that.

"Farewell, kids," he said aloud. "Have a good time."

* * *

THE END


End file.
